The Power of Feedback

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You know the feeling when you have to take a deep breath in because your boss says
“I have some feedback for you.” They fumble and you can tell they are not finding it easy to share. Often they might even say “someone has said…” The whole conversation feels very awkward and no one really benefits. So what do you do? You avoid receiving and giving feedback.

Feedback is a powerful way to build trust and connection in teams. It has some key benefits:

  • It helps foster belonging - feedback given well helps people to feel part of something.

  • It develops aspiration - together we can be the best we can be. Helping us to keep learning and growing.

  • It helps you see the big picture - life is bigger than what we are doing here 

If these are the benefits to giving and receiving feedback then why do we find it so hard?

  • We only give feedback when it is really important or a big issue.

  • We don’t ask others for feedback first

  • There isn’t trust and psychological safety which means that if feedback is shared it is going to do more damage than good.

Here are some tips on how to build a feedback culture.

Start with YOU - If you are leading a team or a project - try starting with asking others to provide you with feedback. Showing that you are open to hearing feedback and willing to adapt to feedback means that you will build up trust and have more respect when it is your turn to give feedback.

Give feedback little and often - this might be harder when working remotely but try to use the small moments to give feedback. How can you drop some encouragement and feedback into conversations? 

Listen first - by starting with listening to the other person’s perspective it helps you to frame your feedback knowing their feelings and enables you to use their language.

Look for shared understanding and build from that - when you have listened first you can build on where you have commonality in your recollection of events or your views on how well something went. It gives you a shared starting point from which to give your feedback.

I’ve found this simple model really effective:

Step 1 - ask the other person to share their reflections

  • What went well?

  • What they have been trying to improve and how has it gone?

  • What they would like to change?

Step 2 - listen for where there is continuity between your reflections and theirs

Step 3 - share your reflections

  • What went well?

  • How can they develop further?

  • Offer support to help the other person achieve their goals.

Feedback is hard - it is a skill that needs to be practiced so keep doing it little and often. It will and does get easier.

Emily Petty